Have you ever seen that cute couple who sit together on the same side of the dinner table? Couple goals.
Or the couple who seems like they're floating down the street when they walk (Insert hashtag)…
While “Couple Goals” is an extremely popular hashtag on social media with an Instagram handle that totes 4.1 million followers, wanting to be happy in a relationship doesn't sound like such a bad plan.
But comparing your relationship to model couples on Instagram isn't the best place to start. Maybe starting with some REAL couple goals and using this list of 22 brilliant couple goals is a better idea :).
What you will read about:
What are couple goals in the first place?
Ask a millennial or younger what a couple goal is and you'll probably get an answer relating to something similar to the definition of couple goals by Urban Dictionary, which is honestly a little raunchy.
Basically, when you see a couple doing something really cute or something that you might want in your relationship, you would say “Couple goals.”
So if you're walking down the street with your significant other, you both look over at a couple holding hands and laughing – couple goals!
- A couple is laughing at seemingly nothing #couplegoals
- You see a young couple sharing a milkshake #couplegoals
- That couple who still manage to dress hip, but has 4 kids #couplegoals
While the couple goals as a hashtag is trending, what is the real definition of a couple who has goals together?
The true definition of couple goals:
The true definition of couple goals is when a couple works together to achieve something, typically with regards to their relationship, family, finances, and future.
For example, a couple who decides before having kids they want to get rid of all their debt. On the other hand, maybe it is a couple who decides to move to a new area for a better work-life balance.
Think of a traditional life goal someone might have, however now it is just shared by a couple instead. Sharing goals as a couple has been linked to better communication, more enjoyment with each other and overall happier relationships.
So if that is the case… what couple goals should you have? Check the list below!
22 Couple Goals You Need to Have:
1. Plan your future with each other.
The ultimate of the couple goals – planning a future together.
If you're in a serious relationship or married, sit down and come up with a vision for your future. Include 3, 5, 10, 20 years and beyond in your vision. Ideas include:
- Where do you want to live long term?
- How many kids do you want to have?
- How do you envision your lives in 10 years?
- What are your core values as a couple?
- Health goals & dieting needs?
- What are some non-negotiables?
- What are your financial goals?
2. Budget together.
Part of your vision as a couple will most likely include (Either directly or indirectly) money.
While being on the same page financially as a couple is essential, it starts with the simple act of budgeting. Sit down and come up with a budget together!
Finances are an important component of a relationship and it can make or break for many relationships. Be sure to include all your fixed expenses, adjust your variables and make sure you track it monthly… together!
3. Run a 5k.
- Grab some new shoes… check!
- Stop and get a couple of pairs of running shorts… check!
- Search for a local 5K and sign up…. double check!!!
What is a better couple goal to have then to train together and then accomplish something – like finishing a race as a team!
The health benefits will be worth it running your 5K, but you will also grow your relationship. Most 5K's contribute to a worthwhile cause too!
4. Talk about kids.
Assuming that you don't have kids, talk about the subject together – whether you're married or not.
This type of communication will bring you closer together and get you thinking about your future. Kids are a big part of your life as a couple supposing you go that route.
- How many kids you will have
- What type of child-rearing techniques you will use
- How to balance kids and careers
- How will you display love to each other in front of your kids?
Related: Why Millennials Aren't Having Kids
5. Spend time with your kids.
If you already have kids, what better couple goals to have then to spend more time with your kids as a family.
Plan out weekly (Or at least monthly) family events where your kids get to see a great example of couples who are happy.
6. Go dream together.
Go for a drive and like #1 discussed, talk about the future. It doesn't matter if you accomplish it or not, simply dreaming as a couple will bring you closer.
Consider visiting model homes, creating a dream board together or driving to peaceful locations outdoors!
7. Get close.
Set a goal, to be that couple in public that people say “Couple Goals” about!
This starts with getting close to each other. Physical touch goes a long way in any relationship.
8. Read couple's books together.
Nothing says “I love you” like reading a book on becoming a better partner. Your significant other will be impressed.
On the flip side, why not read those relationship books together?
Make an agreement to read 1-2 couples books together each year. There are plenty of great books out there such as:
- Love & Respect
- 5 Love Languages (See #16 below)
- The 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work
9. Make a pact to stay of the crazy cycle.
As #8 referenced, the book Love & Respect is a great book for couples to read together. The book points out the need for women to feel loved and men to feel respected. In Love & Respect, there is a concept discussed in length called the “Crazy Cycle.”
The author of Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggrichs puts it this way –
The crazy cycle happens when a wife feels unloved but reacts in disrespectful ways and when a husband feels disrespected and reacts in unloving ways-Dr. Emerson Eggrichs
Like the tire on your car, if each others needs aren't met, the cycle will go round and round. Make a pact to stay off the crazy cycle!
10. When you argue, ask this question:
“Will this matter in 5 years?”
If you want to quickly solve just about any petty argument, simply ask each other that question. Catch yourself spiraling out control and arguing about silly things, just ask each other if it will matter in 5 years and move on.
11. Workout together.
Similar to #3, working out together is a great goal to have as a couple. The two of you can get in shape, maintain current fitness levels, or train for something together.
Sharing a common goal when it comes to your health is not only a great idea for living longer, you will also motivate one another. Forming an accountability partner is another plus to working out as a couple!
12. Write love notes to each other.
Leaving love notes, messages on the mirror and sticky notes in their lunch box go a long way. Something that takes 30 seconds to do a load of good in your relationship.
13. Buy her flowers.
Men, listen up. Hands down the best way to get brownie points is to buy her flowers.
Even if she tells you 1,000 times she really doesn't like flowers, she does. Nothing makes your girl feel better then to get flowers at work. Make it a goal to send her flowers randomly – not just on special occasions or after arguments.
14. Date monthly.
Remember the honeymoon phase of your relationship?
That feeling is how you truly feel about each other, so why not replicate the honeymoon phase forever with dating! Similar to #17 below, set a goal as a couple to date at least 1x per month at a minimum.
Date like you're on the first date again and make sure you keep your cell phone in the car. Don't worry if you're on a budget, here are some cheap date ideas!
15. Speak into one another.
Remember growing up and hearing, “For every negative you will need at least two positives”?
The saying couldn't be truer in a relationship. In fact, this may be the most important relationship goal to have. Learn to speak into each other by encouraging, uplifting, and always striving to be empathetic.
Use phrases like… I am proud of you, I am impressed with you, I love how hard you work, you're such an awesome parent, and be specific. You'll be amazed at what your words can do to enhance your relationship.
Could you imagine if you spoke Russian and your spouse spoke Spanish?
It would be hard to communicate if that were truly the case. Well, when it comes to our relationships, sometimes our partner needs to hear (or receive) love in a language we are not speaking.
One of the top-selling relationship books of all times, 5 Love Languages explains how to identify your partner's love language and how to correctly display it. Tip: Read the book together at the same time, completing 1 chapter a night!
Here are the 5 Love Languages in case you were wondering:
- Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for
taking out the garbage.” Not – “It’s about time you took the garbage out. The
flies were going to carry it out for you.”
- Gifts – a gift says, “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me.”
- Acts of Service – Doing something for your spouse that you know they would like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.
- Quality time – by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention. Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and listening.
- Physical touch-holding hands, hugging, kissing, sex, are all expressions of love.
17. Go on couple's retreats.
Have a couple goal to take one trip a year together.
You can go to resorts, take a cruise, or even go to a specifically designed retreat just for couples. There is no better way to ignite the flame in your relationship, disconnect from it all and spend quality time together than on a trip.
Here is a list of 50 Romantic Get Away Ideas.
18. Do a chore they hate.
Make a goal to do one thing per week for your significant other that helps them out.
For example, if your spouse doesn't like doing the dishes – make a point to do it for them. Tell them to go relax and “You got it.” Doing kind things for one another is always a good habit, helping them with something they hate goes a long way too!
You never know, some chores can make you some money too!
19. Never go to bed mad.
When you're in a relationship, there will be times where the two of you might not agree on something, causing an argument.
Arguing is OK. Going to bed mad and waking up the next stay still made at each other isn't. Do whatever it takes to resolve your issues before you go to bed. Refer back to #10 if you need help for this one.
20. Eat dinner together every night.
The best time to eat dinner – is when you can do it together.
While economically it is more challenging to eat dinner together with commutes and longer work days, it is still a great couple goal to eat dinner together nightly.
Dinner as a family is one of the most important things you can do to strengthen your relationships, so why wouldn't you do it as a couple?
21. Go for walks late at night.
If you haven't caught on yet, the key to any couple goal is to spend quality time together. Sitting on your phone or watching a movie on separate couches is not quality time.
Make a point to disconnect from the world, hold the hands of each other and take a midnight stroll. You will be amazed at what you notice and quality conversations you will have together simply going for a walk!
22. Be honest, no matter what.
There is no better goal or personal trait to possess other than honesty.
Being honest in your relationship with money, with your day, and with each other is key to having a strong and growing relationship. During those moments when you might find it hard to be honest, lean in!
How to be honest in your relationship:
- Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
- Don't sugarcoat or beat around the bush
- Try your best not to be defensive
Josh writes about ways to make money, pay off debt, and improve yourself. After paying off $300,000 in student loans with his wife in less than five years, Josh started Money Life Wax and has been featured on Forbes, Business Insider, Huffington Post, and more! In addition to being a life-long entrepreneur, Josh and his wife enjoy spending time with their chocolate lab named Morgan, working out, being outside, traveling, and helping others with their finances! I got serious with money when I used Personal Capital to track my finances.